Happy Festivus

Quote du jour - "Shall we liken Christmas to the web in a loom? There are many weavers, who work into the pattern the experience of their lives. When one generation goes, another comes to take up the weft where it has been dropped. The pattern changes as the mind changes, yet never begins quite anew. At first, we are not sure that we discern the pattern, but at last we see that, unknown to the weavers themselves, something has taken shape before our eyes, and that they have made somethingvery beautiful, something which compels our understanding."- Earl W. Count, 4,000 Years of Christmas

So here we are, a couple of days before Christmas, night three of Hanukah, and two days past Solstice. And today we celebrate Festivus. It is the perfect expression of the quote above, a holiday built in response to tradition, history and contemporary sensibilities. www.Religioustolerance.org has this to say about Festivus.

The Roman comic poet Plautus from the 3rd century BCE originally used the term Festivus to refer to "wild celebrations attended by average citizens cutting lose on religious holidays."

Festivus is now a recently invented secular day of celebration for the entire family and friends. It is held annually on DEC-23 -- about half-way between the Winter Solstice and Christmas. It was apparently created in 1966-FEB by Daniel O'Keefe, of Chappaqua, NY. (b ~1928). O'Keefe, a former writer for Reader's Digest, says that the idea just popped into his head. It happened before any of this children were born, and was originally a celebration of the first date that he had with his wife Deborah. He developed it during the 1970s while he researched his book "Stolen Lightning" 6 which the New York Times describes as "a work of sociology that explores the ways people used cults, astrology and the paranormal as a defense against social pressures."

He recalled:
"In the background was Durkenheim's 'Elementary Forms of Religious Life' saying that religion is the unconscious projection of the group. And then the American philosopher Josiah Royce [concluded that] religion is the worship of the beloved community."

The article goes on to quote the Boston Globe's rumminations on the growing popularity of Festivus.

"Behind its popularity, devotees say, are its absence of presents, accent on idiocy, and refreshing lack of familial psychodrama. Festivus may have its own quirky rituals, they note, but none involving theology, batteries, reindeer, political correctness, or parental guilt." 12

Not suprisingly we are inventing new ways to celebrate and worship with our beloved communities. Invention and reinvention is not new. Christmas is different than it used to be - a much bigger deal. Ditto for Hanukah. And life is different, people are busier, more stretched, finances less secure and those beloved communities needs are different as well. What IS a beloved community? Our church is one, of course, but so too are our blood families and our families of choice, our close friends and colleagues. I'm sure if you gaze around your life, you can identify at least one beloved community. The key word is beloved. What draws me to Festivus is its unapologetic secular, non commercial, and playful qualities. It's a holiday centered around relationships - without the packaging. (You have to trust people to wrestle with them.)

Festivus counsels simplicity - don't spend your energy on the perfect holiday decor or the biggest pile of gifts. Rather spend your energy on the people who matter most, on the things that matter most. And Festivus doesn't suggest we ignore the religous message of Christmas, merely the commercial one. It's probably a little late to find the Ben and Jerry's Festivus flavor, but you can celebrate in other ways. Find someone you love, respect and admire. Ask them to wrestle.

So Bright Solstice, Happy Hanukah, Happy Festivus, Merry Christmas.

Bah Humbug?

Quote du jour: Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus."
- Francis Pharcellus Church

Link du jour: http://www.buynothingchristmas.org/index.html

Yes, Virginia (and readers) there is a Santa Claus. The urge to give generously is the best part of the holiday. Unfortunately the pressure to give generously (as in beyond your physical or financial capacity) is the worst part. I thought we had reached a new nadir when a Walmart worker was trampled to death the day after Thanksgiving. To die a senseless death is bad enough, but to die because a mob of people wanted to save 19.95 plus tax on some item is indescribably sad.

This is not a new concept. I have written and ranted about it for years. I, like most of you - parents, partners, children, siblings, extended family, co-workers, associates and friends - want the 'best' for my children and everyone else on the long list of my personal human community. It's normal. But that 'best', that impulse to generosity and giving has been taken hostage by marketing forces writ large. There's a whole lot of advertising dollars dedicated to making you believe that the quality of love is reflected in the quality, quantity and expense of the gifts you give. That's not normal. Love is not a box set. And yet, advertising and it's messages and expectations get in. We consume. We shop. We over do it.

I remember every one of my vegetarian Christmas's when I had to battle the inexplicable urge to purchase and prepare a crown roast. In retrospect, it seems I had dangerously overdosed on Martha Stewart.

I have a couple of questions for you. Take a moment and think about your favorite holiday memories. Take a moment and think about your favorite holiday gifts over the years. Which ones do you remember? Why?

Which ones do you think your children or partner, or parents or siblings or extended family or co-workers or associates or friends remember? Ask them. And if they do remember, ask them 'why'. I do not recommend this with anyone who has received a commercial fruitcake. They will probably hit you with it.

Admittedly I do not possess the best memory, but I really don't remember most of the gifts I've received over the years. Do you? So, at the risk of appearing humbugish - I suggest gifting people with stuff they don't even remember seems like a waste of resources. How about this? - buy less, consume less. And please don't replace the urge to give with exhausting yourself in other ways - do less. Remind yourself what this holiday is about. Even if you are not a Christian celebrating the anniversary of a glorious birth, there is still love, generosity and devotion. And remind yourself too, that the spirit of love, generosity and devotion doesn't have to be poured out all at once in late December. We have access to it all year long.

See you in church!

Countdown! (Story Telling Part II)

To Christmas.

Really. 15 days. I'm out of denial. How about you?

quote du jour: And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more. ~ Dr. Seuss

Last blog I wrote about ways to tell stories with children, this week I thought I'd write more about bridging from story to our children's lived experiences. Who of us doesn't remember the Grinch's shriveled tiny heart bursting it's bonds? Have you ever wondered if there was some real life Grinch who grew a MUCH bigger heart in a moment of awakened compassion? I've got a long list of public figures I'm hoping will have such a moment. . .

So when we tell a story, like the one of the Grinch or the Nativity tale, or a remembered one from our own experience, it is an opportunity to help our children make meaning out of their lives. Okay, how?

Use Senses: Children experience the world through their senses - details of what something looked like, smelled like, felt like; use senses in your storytelling. Pass around an object to inspect and touch while you tell. Even asking a child to imagine the feel of warm sand under their feet, or the smell of hay in the manger encourages their minds to examine their experiences and relate those to the story. Maybe the manger smells like the day we went to the Topsfield Fair. Or better. Or worse.

Explore Emotions: Stories about life's embarrassing moments, or about confronting fear, or about losses, tell children that it's okay to be less than perfect, normalize the experience of fear (everyone has it), and gives them permission to name loss. Stories about happy endings and redemption and hardships overcome, remind children that life can be good, forgiveness is possible and they are inherently capable human beings. Invite them into feeling their way through the story by telling with as much drama, humor, mystery, pride, love and emotion (of your own) as you can muster.

Ask Questions: Asking questions invites children to get specific about applying the story messages to their own life. Asking when they had a moment of 'getting it', or about their own birth story as they've heard it, or when they lost a friend or pet, connects story to experience. The story may offer them an alternative way to view those experiences or diminish a sense of isolation. Stopping in mid story and asking a child "what do you think will happen next? what do you think they should do? what do you think he meant?" or other relevant questions shifts the child's dynamic from audience to participant. This is true whether or not you have children raising hands and giving opinions. The silent reflection on questions asked is the same mental process. Some children freeze up if they think they will have to come up with a 'right' answer, so find ways to let them consider without being put on the spot. You can ask them to illustrate answers with art (for their eyes only) or wonder together, or journal in a personal journal. If the group has strong bonds of trust, you can create smaller more intimate groups - that can feel safer for a child in venturing an answer or illuminating an internal struggle.

Give and Ask For Examples: If the story has clear connections to the storyteller's experience, describe them. Ask the children to think of their own connections - shared with the group or not. If the concepts are abstract - try to create as concrete an example as possible for them to consider.

Apply It: If the story has an action, a process, an outcome or a message that can be applied - I remember a yellow bellied sneech 'communion' where everyone put yellow stars on each other - use it. Don't be afraid to be nerdy. Even the kids who roll their eyes will remember. Think about all the dumb things you've witnessed or taken part in - you remembered, see!

And lastly, be yourself. Caring, curious and willing. That's the most important connection of all.

How to Tell a Story (Part I)

God and angels don't get paid even though theirs is some of the most important work around. Ditto for volunteers. ~Cherishe Archer


You are all volunteers whether or not you believe in God and angels. Maybe a couple of you have teaching experience, education or expertise, but most people who teach in Religious Education are giving generously of your time. You may do it because you feel drawn to this work, or because you want to give back to the community which nurtures or nurtured your own children or because you want to create our religion’s future. It’s important work, some of the most important work around. That doesn’t mean teachings and mentoring kids will flow or feel easy or natural to you. That’s okay. We can work on that.

The curriculum folks are working very hard to create program templates that make the life of a Sunday school teacher easier, and eventually it is hoped – the life of the curriculum committee members! In a recent set of feedback comments, a couple of you mentioned your concern that you weren’t natural storytellers, like me (Rebecca). The first time I told a story in public, was only 14 years ago. And I was lousy. My voice shook, my hands shook and I didn’t project my voice at all. Years later, a witness to my debut, confessed that she and a few others were taking bets on whether or not I would make it all the way through. When you hear me say, ‘it’s a practice art’, believe me, I tested the theory – I am a textbook case of rising competence. But instead of caving into my butterflies, I was fortunate enough to have a mentor say to me “that’s okay, we can work on that”.



So, those of you telling stories, here are some ways we can work on that

Beginning: You will win or lose in the first three minutes depending on who you begin (Barret - Storytelling: It's Easy). The kids you are telling to, are not automatically an audience – you have to help them become one, to focus on the story, to want to know more. I often try something weird, or really mysterious, or dramatic to get their attention.

Brevity wins points!: When you introduce the story, just spend the time you need to get attention, you don’t want to lose your story. Some of our narratives can tend towards baroque. Keep it simple. The more space children have for their own imagination, the more they’re going to invest in the story and your telling of it. As Unitarian Universalists we often feel that we need to explain everything. Sometimes you can just present a story and let children bridge it to their own experience or ideas. If they are confused about some leap of imagination, and ask you – great! – they’re engaged.

Emotions Count: In contemporary brain based learning theory and practice, new understandings of how learning occurs are changing the traditional ideas about didactic and lecture formats. People learn through emotions – they’ll listen, but they also need to feel something. And the kids won’t care unless you do. Be enthusiastic for the opportunity to share this time, and tell a story to and with your group. Model your willingness to dive into a story with your expressions, gestures, animation, emotions – happiness, sadness, seriousness, etc. (Think emoticons)

Say it! There are particular tactics used in oratory: repetition, emphasis, pauses, volume changes – just listen to some speaker who has moved you (I’m thinking our president elect) and consider what verbal and physical techniques they might be using to get their message across. (And that’s really what this is about, because no matter how great the message, if it doesn’t get across, it doesn’t matter if it’s a world changing idea or an advertisement for screwdrivers.)

Staying with it: Once you have attention, you need to keep it. Be aware of your group, if they are starting to fidget or drift, bring them back. You can use a surprising digression – toss some sentence in. For example I was walking down the street in Seattle – very crowded Saturday and overheard only one sentence of a cell phone conversation “No, well I wouldn’t treat snakebite like that” I remembered that one and I STILL want to know more. Use volunteers from your ‘audience’ or have kids participate as a group - using hand motions, making sound effects, or responding with cheer or a repetitive phrase.
Change the pace – the speed of delivery, the volume of your voice, your posture or position in the room. Get serious if you’ve been cheery or go in reverse. Use several ‘voices’ if the narrative has dialogues.

Closing: And then end with a pithy summation of the object lesson, short and sweet, you don’t want to lose them now! You can leave some loose ends hanging, and leave space for wondering – it’s how we teach our kids to think. Our stories are teaching tools – so the lesson that you wish to present should be stated in that context Don’t make this any less story-like than the story – punch it up. Make it sound like the object lesson matters – because to us, it does.

Thanks

Quote du jour: In this world of sin and sorrow there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican. ~H.L. Mencken

It is the Monday before Thanksgiving and I have yet to pick up the whole foods, locally raised on grass, sunshine, love and new age music, turkey. I have children and stepchildren on their way in a day or two. I have 13 people coming for dinner on Thursday and oral surgery scheduled for Wednesday. I have yet another construction project underway in the house and oh yeah, a job to do. Am I stressed? No. Well, maybe.

But really, if I'm stressed - I'm stressed by abundance, by having a multitude of friends and family in my life, a home to love and rewire, choices about health care and choices about food. I have work that still (after all these years) holds deep and profound meaning for me along with a paycheck. Like most of the capitalist world, I have less today than a year ago, and you know what? I'm still thankful. I usually don't like to write about my personal life, because I'm wary of tipping from self-reference to self- indulgence, but I'm going to aim for relevant. Let me know how I do.

2008 started off with the critical care hospitalization of my youngest child, followed by emergency heart surgery on my partner, followed by my dad's serious illness and continuing decline and that was just the first three months of the year! I gave up keeping track by the end of March. It's been a heartbreaking year in many ways.

But even so, the year has also been one of stunning abundance in so many bullets dodged that I can't quite believe our good fortune. No one died. No one is crippled. The biopsies have been negative. No one has gone without a roof over their heads or their daily bread or the opportunity to earn it. Kids are growing up, falling in and out of love and making plans to transform the world. And one of our friends has agreed to carve the turkey. Isn't it great?

I am telling you my happy story, because, I proud Puritan that I am, often tell the hardship stories. We're New Englanders. We work hard in life. We work hard to parent. We work hard to find meaning. We work hard to stay connected, balanced and sane. And oh so often, we look past the celebration to the costs of it. The weeks of diet and deprivation or the overdrawn bank accounts. We look past the simple and obvious pleasures of our children to worry about their future, the tuition payments, their ability to find a job, their lack of competive edge in the collegiate sweepstakes. And once we get them launched - we worry about having them move back in. With the rocky economy and the geopolitical climate around the world, we worry about our income and we worry about our safety. I won't tell you not to consider these things. It is impossible to ignore them. What I am saying is "tell the happy stories too". "Enjoy the times of celebration." We must celebrate and we must tell the stories because they are something that can transform. They are somthing that casts a light into the shadows. We can give thanks for what we have now - however meagre - and for all the future possibilities that life holds.

I would never romanticize poverty - it's fallacious to believe that poverty is somehow enobling or anything less than a grinding, soul crushing, circumstance. Still, look around and you will witness people with next to nothing finding occasion to laugh. You will find people who make every encounter a celebration of friendship, and every gathering a time to create music. People who spend their lives on others with absolute joy. People who make every meal a feast of the spirit if not of the palate. It isn't one moment that makes a prayer of thanksgiving but many little appreciations, over and over again.

So whether or not we sit down at groaning tables on Thursday, let us give thanks. Whether or not we pray to anthing, let us give thanks. For the meals taken with others or alone, let us give thanks. Thanks too, for the surly teenagers and the demanding toddlers. For the jobs we might lose next month. For the friends who aren't always perfect. For the beloveds who are near and far. For hope in the face of illness. For life in the face of death. For life as it is. For life as it one day might be. Let us give thanks.

Listen Up!

quote du jour and a bonus

"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway." ~ Maya Angelou

“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” ~ Carl Reiner

I include the above quotes in honor of the quick shift to cold winter like weather. I like snow. I just don't like driving in it. Shoveling it. Or wading through it. If I can ski over it or stay inside until spring, then that works.

This weekend we will all be together (except for the very youngest) in an intergenerational worship service for the season of Thanksgiving. Please remember to fill a grocery bag with nonperishable items for the ministry of My Brother's Table in Lynn. We will be collecting contributions during the service.

As most of you know, I roam the RE classrooms on Sunday mornings and get to see a whole variety of ways adults and children engage each other. I learn a lot. It's one of the many things I love about Sunday mornings at church. This past Sunday I was speaking with a teaching team as they were reflecting on feedback they had received from their group of teenagers. What the group found remarkable, was the leaders ability to listen to the group, to not drive them to a conclusion and to hold open plenty of space for conversation between group members but not to put any one individual on the spot.

We have a lot of written materials for every age group in the church and I sometimes fear that they give RE teachers the message that you must cram a lot of didactic information into the minds of our children in an hour for approximately 28 Sundays a year. In case you wondered - not so. The material is for you to use with the group in ways that make the most sense to everyone - adults and kids - who is engaging in it. One of the ways that appear to make sense to kids is to learn, model and practice listening within the RE classroom.

How do we do that?I think about my children as toddlers. When they wanted to tell me something they took my face in the hands and made sure I was paying attention. There are many non-dialogue ways to encourage listening - rhythm, dramatic arts, poetry, music making - which I'll get to in subsequent posts. For now a couple of tips on how you and your group can listen to each other and to listen for the things that matter in our lives.

ATTENTION: Its hard to listen when multiple off topic conversations are going on. Ring a bell, turn off the lights, relight the chalice or blow it out as a group. One of my personal favorites is to have everyone close their eyes and listen to a chime fade into silence. Ask them to raise hands when the sound of the chime disappears. Do this three times and you've provided a meditation break. I have given examples of focusing games before, Zen count or One Duck - use one of these. Don't be afraid to insert them - even if it seems like a non-sequiteur- what ever you happen to be doing if you believe listening has disappeared.

QUESTIONS: Give the conversation a skeleton to fill in around. Ask questions. With younger children, show them an object or picture related to the materials you have. Ask them to give opinions about it. With older kids an open ended question feels less like a quizz. What do you think? Can you imagine. . . ? Has that ever happened to you? Or someone you know? My favorite question (from the above mentioned teaching team) What would you do differently?

SPACE: Most UU's are talkers. Big talkers. Some of our kids are too. The extroverts will jump in and answer and by the time the introverts have organized their thoughts, the rest of the group is on to something else. Have the group jot down notes for a minute or two before opening up verbal dialogue. It gives everyone a chance to sort out their thoughts. With younger kids, have them draw a response. Notice the kids who aren't talking and make sure they have opportunities to speak. Allow for silence if people are pondering. It doesn't have to be awkward to think together.

SAFETY: Make it safe to risk an opinion. That means dialogue not debate. Encourage questions of each other - as in "Why do you believe/think/feel that?" NOT as in "How could you be so dumb?" If your group has a covenant remind them of it. If not, have them come up with ground rules. Usually, but not always, it's the younger kids who need reminders not to interrupt or put down an opinion. Invite participation but don't force it by asking one kid 'what do YOU think?' if they haven't volunteered.

ENERGY: And this last is most important. If the group is restless and high energy, you may need to do something else. Don't give up on your listening plans, just defer them until the group is ready to sit with each other in quieter conversation. Play seven principle charades, or another lively communication game. Do something that doesn't involve conversation, or conversely ask everyone in the room to talk loudly all at once for 5 minutes. Time it and make them talk nonstop for the ENTIRE five minutes. Try it. And then find out what the group thought of THAT.

I am an evil genius.

see you in church

What's in it for 'we'?

Quote du jour: It is doubtless true that religion has been the world's psychiatrist throughout the centuries ~ Karl Menninger

A few weeks ago I was talking to someone about ‘marketing’ church to families who already have so much going on in their lives. Church, youth groups and Sunday School are on a long list of worthy activities demanding time and attention. Although most of us 'think' that church is a good idea, sociologists actually study this stuff. I promised to write about one of the oft invoked studies I have alluded to. The link to the full study report is below. I’ll let you find the cites.

A three staged longitudinal study from the National Study of Youth and Religion (NSYR) has been recently published. The authors of the study conclude make affirmative conclusions regarding the role of religion and church attendance in the lives of our young people. There are a number of positive outcomes. Here’s one - This study determined that for early adolescents (aged 12 to 14), parental involvement in worship services even just once a week produced significant results in strengthened relationships with their parents.

But that’s not the only information. As much as the studies and reports describe what church can give our children, church can also protect them on the way to adulthood. I quote sociologist Christian Smith “studies that have included religion measures (especially church attendance and importance of religious faith) have found them to be inversely related to juvenile drug, alcohol and tobacco use, and to delinquency. . . Multiple studies also confirm that religiosity is inversely related to thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide and actual suicide among American teenagers. Religiosity also appears to act as a protective influence against suicide among youth most at risk for it. Furthermore religion is associated with lower levels of depression and hopelessness. . .”

The findings of this study affirm the positive benefits of adolescents living in religiously involved families. They enjoy stronger, more positive relationships with their parents than early adolescents whose families are not so involved. Religiously active families are also more likely to create environments where their youth feel supported and teenagers are more likely to seek help from a parent if some assistance is needed. With alienation and uncertainty awaiting our children in much of their lives, we should find ways to get them into our churches, not only for what we ‘get’ from the experience, but from what we do not.

Hmmmmm. Think about it. When you make those important decisions about time.

See you in church!

Where do we go from here?

Quote du jour: Now, in order to answer the question, "Where do we go from here?" which is our theme, we must first honestly recognize where we are now. -Martin Luther King Junior

I am having a few hours of sheer unabashed celebration at the end of a very long election season. And then I begin - only begin, mind you - to answer the question "where do we go from here?" Dr. King gave some very good advice, as to how we begin. We begin in honesty. I think that rhetoric often substitutes for true and self aware honesty and I would very much like to see that change over the next months and years. I have hope that a new administration will be able to take the rhetoric of Washington and launch a true assessment of current reality, based in empircal evidence, not projection and fantasy. Where are we now? I think we need to answer that question as a nation, as a people and here in Swampscott, as a church.

As many of you may know, under the new system of church governance, I am now responsible - at the direction of Vann -for the social justice and environmental ministries of this church as well as the educational ones. In this role, I am asking in different ways and over and over again, where are we now? When I came to this church, a thirty year conversation had been taking place about "what shall we do about Lynn?" , essentially a "where do we go from here "conversation. I get the sense that the conversation has been one that puts itself solidly in the future, without assessing the capacity and potential and will of the congregation in the present. The present has become the past, and the future has become the now.

In this now, there are changes in the church. Many of them will not apply to you or to the children we teach. However, many of them will. And those changes won't take hold unless we can say with certainty that we know where we are. Who we are. And what we might be capable of. I am working with you on two significant efforts, one the change in the content and template of the religious education program and the other, what is being called the Lynn Initiative. We want to create a robust and vital Sunday experience for children and the leaders who support the ministry of Religious Education. We want to go back to Lynn in a way that makes sense to us and makes sense to the neighbors that we wish to support. That's great. We should do those things. And we should dream big. But we should know where we are now. Because if we don't place ourselves in the reality of our time, place and culture then there's a very good chance we won't know where to put our foot for the first step on the road to change - enduring change.

It's time. To know where we are. To know who we can become. To know where we can go. Step by step.

See you in church

The Democratic Process v.2008

Quote du jour:

As for that VP talk all the time, I'll tell you, I still can't answer that question until somebody answers for me what is it exactly that the VP does every day?--Sarah Palin

I can't help myself. As political theatre this election has been the best ever. I'm having an odd sort of watching for the train wreck kind of fun. It beats the woeful economic news. It's official. Retirement is so 90's.

Anyhow, at the risk of violating separation of church and state and ending up in court - and I should put proper blame on our Congregational and Unitarian (they preferred to be called Arians actually) forebears in Dedham* who really started the ball rolling on that one - I will not editorialize on candidates - just on elections.

*To paraphrase: let the church take care of church business and let the town/parish take care of town/parish business -SJC Dedham Decision, 1820

Today what I really want to say is that voting is religious. Helping other people vote is religious. Upholding fair and free electoral process is religious. Even if we didn't explicitly say that "we affirm and promote the use of the democratic process in our congregations and in society at large". But since we do, I can write these words in a religious education blog. We are a faith tradition that believes we all have the right and the obligation to make our wishes known. As citizens, we should do no less.

Now, I, like many other people, have had a really hard time believing my vote counted for anything in any number of elections. I clearly backed the wrong horses. And I may be doing so again this year. but I will vote as if my opinion mattered. It does. It matters to me and it matters to every politician who took advantage of voter apathy. It matters to every child who will have the the supreme court justices seated by this generation inform their future. It matters to everyone who labors under the weight of illness or poverty, or discrimination. It matters to anyone who is in the military, or national guard and reserves. It matters to our climate and our planet. In this state, it matters to all the human service agencies who depend on tax dollars and to all the people who 'inhaled'.

It matters to everyone who believes in democracy - Democracy only works when we do. And even for the backers of the wrong horse - our numbers count. Everytime we vote, we hold open space for our views, our opinions, our wishes to be considered. Everytime we vote, we offer up a prayer for our society.

So I will challenge all of you to live your faith. Vote. Encourage others to. If you have time, consider working to get out the vote; any party would be glad to have you. And when you are in church on Sunday, remind our children and youth, that whatever your vote is, it is one we make for our today and for their tomorrow.

Vote. It's your prayer made manifest.

Ministry, yours, mine and ours

Quote du jour: Sometimes a poem says it all

Ministry is all that we do -- together

Ministry is all that we do -- together

Ministry is that quality of being in community that

affirms human dignity

beckons forth hidden possibilities,

invites us into deeper, more constant,reverent relationships

and carries forward our heritage of hope and liberation.

Ministry is what we do together

as we celebrate triumphs of our human spirit

Miracles of birth and life

Wonders of devotion and sacrifice.

Ministry is what we do together

with one another

in terror and torment

in grief, in misery and pain,

enabling us in the presence of death to say yes to life.

We who minister speak and live the best we know

with full knowledge

that it is never quite enough

And yet are reassured

by lostness found, fragments reunited,

wounds healed and joy shared.

Ministry is all that we do -- together.
Gordon McKeeman

See you in church!

Any Questions?

Quote du jour

You can tell whether a man is clever by his answers. You can tell whether a man is wise by his questions." ~ Naguib Mahfouz

Last week I wrote about THE question. This week I wanted to write more about the MANY questions (Of course last week, my big question was - WHY, oh WHY did my old-enough-to-know-better son take the dog out to visit local skunks at two in the morning - with predictable results. The only answer I could come up with was to induce me to make the dog a peroxide blonde. James, my son, DOES live in LA were dogs visit hair stylists weekly. . . For those of you who have never needed to know this - the de-skunking potion involves hydrogen peroxide, baking soda and dish detergent.)

Much of what we do in a Unitarian Universalist church is in service to seeking our own truth and meaning as individuals. Sermons are not holy writ. Nor are newsletter columns and . . . ahem. .. blogs; they are simply a set of questions, ideas and opinions about answers. The questions and answers your church staff come up with are not necessarily the questions and answers YOU come up with and the questions and answers teachers come up with aren't necessarily the questions and answers our children come up with. We are not here to tell others what truth with a capital T is, but rather to hold open the questions and offer our own personal response.

In our faith tradition we ask questions, and we frequently ask questions that have no easy answer or perhaps no answer at all. That doesn't let us off the hook for trying though.

As guides and mentors to our young people, we have a responsibility to hold space for questions and to hold space for uncertainty about answers. Years ago, I was reminded that one of the greatest gifts a teacher can give is the statement "I don't KNOW, this is what I BELIEVE". What I often observe in our liberal world is that adults so fear brainwashing kids that they avoid sharing the answers of their own heart and mind. We aren't charged with telling children what to think, but we are charged with telling children what we believe.

Of course, how we tell them is part of the message. In this political season, I've been telling lots of people what I believe, hoping that it will inspire them to THINK and draw similar conclusions. From the glazed looks I've been getting in southern New Hampshire, I'm not sure how well that's working. I've witnessed the same glazed looks on the faces of kids in the many churches I've served.

So how about this, why don't we each ask ourselves the question "What do I BELIEVE really matters?" And when we discover what things really matter, we can live those things and speak those things and work for those things, and perhaps that will teach our children best of all.

see you in church!

THE Question.

Quote du jour

Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions. ~ Rainer Maria Rilke

As we near the end of the first - somewhat tumultuous - month of the church Religious Education year, I’m grateful for your questions, your compassionate as well as critical eyes and most of all, your willingness to minister in this very special way to the youngest members of our faith. You’re all an inspiration to me.

So if the first question someone asks is 'Where do you go to church?" Chances are that the second question will be THE question, the one that’s really hard to answer "What do you believe in?" It's a particular challenge - for adults and for kids - to clearly and briefly describe our beliefs and practices in a non-creedal faith. A number of years ago, someone clever – not I- came up with a rainbow pneumonic to help children remember the 7 principles of Unitarian Universalism. I think you've had DRE's use it here.

Since it was unwieldy carrying around my Popsicle stick principle prompts I also committed this one to my memory. I’ve used it with rainbow bracelets made out of pony beads, with rainbow candles, or rainbow crayons or the oft planned but never executed rainbow vegetables and fruits (Apple, carrot, corn, spinach, yes, blue Peruvian potatoes, blueberries, eggplant.) But I never got further than donuts, snow peas, pop tarts. . . pop tarts. As you think ahead to future teaching moments with the children and youth of our congregation, perhaps this will come in handy.

Rainbow for Remembering

One strategy that is useful in recalling the principles is to use theacronym Roy G Biv and connect a color of the rainbow to each of the sevenprinciples.

They are assigned a color in the order in which the colors appear in the rainbow.

One - Red: Respect the importance and value of all beings

Two - Orange: Offer fair and kind treatment to all.

Three - Yellow: Yearn to learn throughout life.

Four - Green: Grow by exploring ideas and values together.

Five - Blue: Believe in your ideas and act on them

Six - Indigo: Insist on peace, freedom and justice for all

Seven - Violet: Value our interdependence with nature.

So when we encounter THE question, or our children do, we can give an answer of colorful principles, but as the quote above reminds us, let us also live these colorful principles.

See you in church!

Rebecca

No Rumminating This Week!

"We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities."--Bill Maher


This is mostly calendar notes and no rumminating - I figured you'd all like a week off.

This weekend I am out of the church (I will be freezing my kiester off on retreat in the mountains) so if you have any special needs before Sunday, please contact me no later than Thursday afternoon. I return next Monday, back in the office Tuesday.

The current rotation, Our Unitarian Universalist Community is winding up this Sunday and on the 19th we will begin the next rotation -our Jewish and Christian Heritage - with a story of devotion and trust and generousity, The Book of Ruth from the Torah. I will tell the story that Sunday during the Time for All Ages in the worship service, so come and hear what our children will be hearing.

Our Whole Lives group does not meet this Sunday, the 12th, nor do they meet the 19th. They'll be back in harness on October 25th - the day after the UNICEF party. Many of our OWL participants will also be participating in the Frozen Pickles hosting and games events. I encourage those of you with younger children to come along and enjoy the fun AND the candy!

Good luck to the OWL leaders on Sunday. Sugar and hormones? Oh dear.

Coming of Age has begun as well. That group also does not meet this coming weekend - the 12th. They'll be back on the 19th.

And now for the commercial - I am trying to figure out the talent pool at church. Since I'm new here (or newish) I would love to have your thoughts on people who might be interested in work parties to produce various objects to be used in the children's program. One of the story techniques we use is to have props - giving the children a visual language as well as a auditory one as we tell, or as we lead worship. My thought is that the work parties would be short and social and we'd put together props for a story basket or perhaps create some 'religion' boxes for our liturgical lessons with the older kids. Let me know if you or anyone you know and like would be interested!

And that's it. My words of inspiration this week are very brief. In spite of the market meltdown and the profiteering, we have an excess of abundance in our lives. We have the blue sky and the painted up autumn of New England. We have the affection of our children and the support of our families. We have this church and each other. We're rich. Very rich. I intend to remember those things every time I look out the window at the hail of golden ash - and I hope you can find time to do so as well.


see you all in church.

rebecca

Happy New Year!

Instead of a pithy quote, I offer up this poem for Rosh Hashanah by ---Alicia Ostriker


the birthday of adam

the innocent earthling
and the day hagar and ishmael

found water in the desert
in memory of whom

mud staining our shoes

water flowing in handfuls
we sniff the smell of living dying things
reach into our pockets

for the bread that represents our sins, toss it in, praying . . .
release us, help us,
forgive us

the river answers

by swallowing our crumbs
do our prayers travel upward

do they defy gravity

like rain splashed on the windshield

of a car speeding through storm
in ten days we will go hungrier

pray harder



In a little more than a week, it will be Yom Kippur and the faithful will have a chance to start again. The book of life is opened between New Year (at Rosh Hashanah) and The Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur). And in those intervening ten days one takes advantage of that in between to make amends if possible, ask for forgiveness, bury the hatchet or whatever needs doing to erase the sins of the past year. Some times you can’t do any of those things. Sometimes you can only feel remorse for sins committed and expiation is truly impossible. Ancient wisdom, recognizing that there is only so much good that can come out of perpetual guilt and remorse, built some time limits on it. Up until Yom Kippur people have an opportunity to make things right between them, and on Yom Kippur, a chance to make things right with G*D. Then after the day of prayer and fasting and true remorse, what is done is done, and it’s time to move on.

As the High Holy days of the Jewish faith inform our pluralistic religion of Unitarian Universalism, I am reminded of and grateful for the promise that we can let go and begin again. That is true on the micro as well as the macro scale.

Because so many of us reading this (and the writer too) work with the young, we are particularly challenged to let go and to let a child begin again. I speak from experience. We’ve all that kid – the one who can’t sit still, or bonks their neighbor on a regular basis, or talks back, or ignores you, or sticks the pipe cleaners up their nose or any other set of annoying or disruptive behaviors.

And sometimes, in spite of our best intentions, that kid gets under our skin and their bad behavior becomes a personal affront.

What to do when that happens? My advice (which I take early and often) is to chant over and over. They’re kids – if they were fully socialized they wouldn’t need teachers or parents or CHURCHES. They come to us along a whole continuum of understanding and capacity for appropriate social behaviors. I have four ‘categories’. (Even though I say I transcend labels – here I go, labeling)

Some kids have mature understanding and capacity.

Some kids have very clear understanding and limited capacity.

Some kids have limited understanding and greater capacity.

Some kids have limited understanding AND capacity.

The first group is easy. We like them. They listen, follow instructions, cooperate with peers and generally are a joy to be around.

The second group usually improve over time. If a child understands, then it’s often just a matter of coaching them in paying attention or responding to others. Sometimes it’s a special needs consideration. A lot of children with attentional issues really WANT to be attentive. They just can’t. We owe their better natures an opportunity to shine and a structure in which they can succeed.

The third group is the group that needs frequent reminders and appeal to their reasoning powers. They have the skills to work well in groups, they just don’t ‘get’ the why. As with the second group – it usually gets better over time.

The fourth group is a small percentage of our population, and yet, sadly, they often become the kids we give up on. Or the kids who go on to live out self-fulfilling prophecies. As a faith committed to the inherent worth and dignity of everyone, we owe those kids a fight – a fight for their whole and best selves. How we do that may be beyond the logistical reach of a Sunday morning program, but it is not beyond the reach of our collective wisdom and our open hearts.

If you’ve got that kid in your group, let’s talk about it. Let’s find a way to embrace the spirit of each child. Let’s find a way to start again and again. Let’s find a way to let a child have a fresh page and the opportunity to write a new story on it.

See you in church

Rebecca

I Wonder. . .

Quote du jour For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad. ~Edwin Way Teale


Happy Equinox! If you were outside Sunday evening as the rains came, you could feel summer taking it's leave and autumn rolling in on a wave of chilly Canadian air. Almost overnight the trees around us have started to paint themselves with autumns hues, the birds are flying south and the acorns dropping like mad. And yet humans are pulling back together after our summer travels - to schools, to sports, to book groups and to church. So here we are.

Some of you will have encountered the 'wondering questions' in your curriculum or packets. In the last two paragraphs I'll give some ideas about how to present them and how to use them; in the next ones I'm going to muse a bit on the philosophy of wondering. (Which is code for saying if you don't want to read my musing - and I'll never know so you can't offend me - skip down and pick up some suggestions!)

I was having a conversation with some group leaders last night, and one of them underscored how necessary it is to avoid 'herding' children to conclusions. As a faith tradition of inquiry and reason we don't expect an pre-established theological conclusion and commitment from every adult who comes through these doors - nor should we from our children. As with adults the role of our covenantal faith is to hold space for a diversity of belief and to hold space for questions and for the unknown. Life is a mystery and often the job of religion is to make it less mysterious. As Unitarian Universalists we don't attempt to make life less mysterious as much as we try to make it less lonely. We worship together and we socialize together and we inhabit uncertainty together.

That sounds a little abstract and maybe (to me) just a little too bleak for our younger kids. So rather we 'wonder' together. Those of you leading children in all age groups have opportunties to ask the children and youth what they think, and the way you ask makes an enormous amount of difference to the way the child perceives the question. In the Montessori Godly Play curriculum by Jerome Berryman, the wondering with children closes every narrative. We have adopted a similar wondering opportunity here. Why? Because we bring children and ourselves to church to engage with existential questions. Who am I? What am I here for? What does it all mean? And those simple questions can be far deeper and far more layered than the topical questions on belief or non belief in particular theological constructs. Since we don't have an agreement about the existence of diety, the nature of afterlife, or the origin of the differentiated self, we all wonder. We come up with more questions, discard and test a new set of answers, or inhabit our personal answers with a certainty that does not impose itself on others. We wonder together because we understand that what each of us believes about religious truth and meaning is a part of the whole.

How DO we wonder with children? We present the questions as open - not demanding answers. To do this, I often wonder with a 'far away' look, that the children are invited into wondering. Or you can wonder to your feet as you ask the question and then sweep the room with your gaze to include the children in that wondering. What I suggest you do NOT do is to indicate with eye contact, body language or speech a need for an answer. When you ask a wondering question, ask it as a meditation. Give the words weight, and give the question time and space to sink through the layers of consciousness. Silence gives the introverts time to find the words and the extraverts time to reconsider the first words that come to mind. And wonder does not demand an answer. Sometimes the children will want to speak, sometimes they won't. Both are fine.

If the children respond out loud, let them answer without editorializing on their answers. And if they begin a dialogue with each other around the question, let them. If they ask what you think, tell them, and invite them to ask other adults in their lives. Sometimes children need others assumptions to test their own against. If they sit in silence, let the silence hang for a while. Give them time to ponder the question before asking another. Some questions may never have an answer. That doesn't mean we can't ask and wonder about them.

What questions do you have?

I wonder. ..

see you in church!

Rebecca

The Power of Ritual

Quote du jour: “All of the arts, poetry, music, ritual, the visible arts, the theater, must singly and together create the most comprehensive art of all, a humanized society, and its masterpiece, free man" ~ Bernard Berenson

Many Unitarian Universalists get a little queasy when I bring up the subject of ritual. It is often conflated with superstition or old irrelevant (to some) forms of worship. But ritual has a power and a resonance beyond the intellect. It's why humans are drawn to create ritual in the first place. Ritual is not only found at churches. Candle lighting on a birthday cake is a ritual. A child's first haircut is often a ritual - a rite of passage as it were. Bedtime? Holiday traditions? What conscious or unconscious rituals do you have in your life already? (My family has an annual fruitcake ritual. At some point in late October I make fruitcake and throughout the fall and winter holiday season, the rest of the family mocks me with disparaging comments about fruitcake. It's an annual event, and if it didn't happen the winter holiday season would feel incomplete. )

At church, along with our tradition of inquiry and reason, we have ritual. We have ritual because we want more than an intellectual exercise. We want a community experience - the ritual of coffee hour. Or we want an affective experience of the profound - the ambiance of the worship space, the music, the silence, the prayer. Ritual connects us to each other, and to a time and a place out of ordinary time and place. At church we invite our children to experience that resonance. To experience this place as special. To experience themselves as belonging. Various groups have some rituals in place already. Our Whole Lives begins with a chalice lighting and has the question box to close out the session. Youth Group checks in and checks out. And Sunday morning, the children transition from sanctuary to religious education classrooms with a song. Right now it's "Go Now in Peace" but I have plans. BWAHAHAHA!

I'm sure by now you're wondering where I'm going with this. I do go on, rather. . .

I'm inviting you all, particularly the rotation guides to consider simple rituals for connecting the children you are with to you, to each other and to their church. The guides will all receive a carryall with clipboards/attendances, sticky name tags, a couple of markers and a

port-o-chalice. I encourage you to lay down the pattern of the day - to shape a ritual of connection. Find out who the children are, have them wear name tags that they may be known and seen and connected to the rest of us. Offer a chalice lighting that the group can share - signed, sung, or spoken and consciously end your time together with a benediction or group cheer or by blowing out the chalice together. I have a few examples of chalice lightings and benedictions below, find one you like and use it. Connect our children to this faith we would share with them. It what we're here for.

Chalice Lightings


We light this chalice to celebrate
(mime striking a match on the open palm of the opposite hand)
Unitarian Universalism
(hold up left hand, then right hand in the shape of a U)
This is the church of the flaming chalice.
(cup hands in front)
This is the church of the open mind.
(cover your face with both hands, then open them out on the word “open”
as though your hands were hinged doors)
This is the church of the helping hands.
(hold both hands out in front of you, palms up)
This is the church of the loving heart.
(hands over heart)
Where friends come to share with each other.
(join hands)


Flaming chalice, burning bright,
Now you share with us your light
May we always learn to share
With all people, everywhere.
Flaming chalice, burning bright,
Now you share with us your light

(Sung to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)

Eva Ceskava


We light this chalice for the light of truth
We light this chalice for the warmth of love.
We light this chalice for the energy of action.
MaryAnn Moore


We light this chalice to remind ourselves to treat all people
Kindly, because they are our brothers and sisters.
We light this chalice to remind ourselves to take good care
Of the earth, because it is our home.
We light this chalice to remind ourselves to live lives full
Of goodness and love, because that is how we will become
The best men and women we can be.
Source Unknown

May this light kindle within us
The warmth of compassion
The glow of love
The fire of commitment
The light of truth.
Marianne Hachten Cotter

We light our flaming chalice
To illuminate the world we seek.
In the search for truth, may we be just;
In the search for justice, may we be loving;
And, in loving, may we find peace.
Elizabeth McMaster


Benedictions/Extinguishing the Chalice

As we leave this friendly place,
Love give light to every face;
May the kindness which we learn
Light our hearts until we return.
Vincent Silliman

As we extinguish the light of our flaming chalice,
Let us remember how good it is for us to be
Together,
To play together,
To work together,
To sing together,
To laugh together,
May the light of our chalice be with us until we meet again.
Lois Ecklund


Helping hands all gathered round
In our circle peace is found
Open minds and loving hearts
Guide us as we now depart.
Helping hands all gathered round
In our circle peace is found

(Sung to the tune of “ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)
Debra Chandler Pratt

Guiding the Elements

quote du jour:

Abundant trust and good humor are signs of spiritual wisdom - Thomas Moore

This Sunday we will begin this year's new Religious Education Program, Workshop Rotation with an orientation for all children in grades K-6th. Next week, Our Whole Lives begins meeting and the week after that, Coming of Age is launched. After we leave the service, we reassemble in Parish Hall. Carol Kusinitz and I will be leading the orientation but any and all of you who will be teaching or who are just curious - come on along.

An interesting role in this new (to UUCGL) model is that of the Guides. A number of you have signed up to 'guide' and I thought I'd write a bit about the 'philosophy' of guiding. You may have heard at volunteer sign up that you won't need to do much. That is both true and not true. You will have no lessons to prepare, no supplies to purchase, no curriculum you MUST read. You will however, be taking on a ministry that asks you to be profoundly present to the children you 'guide'.

Guiding has a physical template. As a guide you will joining a group of children 'sorted' into age cohorts and assigned an element - Air for Kindergartners, Fire for first and second graders, Water for third and fourth graders and Fire for fifth and sixth graders. Each Sunday that you guide, the children will meet you by their elemental - earth, air, fire or water - banner in the Parish Hall. And you will greet them and escort them to their workshop of the day. (This information will be sent to you several weeks before your stint and will posted in the foyer that morning.) Once in the workshop, you may lead them in a chalice lighting or a gathering ritual and then hand over the leading role to the workshop leader. You are still guiding, however, by example or in some cases by gentle direction and redirection.

The religious template of guiding is equally significant. We are creating and holding space for children to encounter the existential questions of life - who am I?, why am I here? what am I meant to do?

Along with that inner work, there is the work of belonging. We should never underestimate the pull of community. Think of all the adults you know who come for the fellowship and the opportunity to be with others. That is also true for children. This is a community wholly like any other they will encounter. It is a place where adults and kids have permission and encouragement to interact in ways that are both casual and profound. It is a place where the example of adults who care for others is one of the first lessons learned. It is a place where the adults teach by example the ways to be with each other. As guides, you are encouraged to teach by example. Encourage the children to treat each other with respect, to treat the space we inhabit with respect and to ask for what they need. If we can anchor those three concepts in each child's mind and practice, we've done a fabulous job.

So let's go to work. There's a big old world that needs these children to grow into thoughtful caring adults! I'll see you in church.

Registration Forms Online!

As the paper moves at ever increasing volume through our lives, I'm making at least one form a little more accessible. Family registration forms for UUCGL 2008-2009 Religious Education programs are available online at the church's website - www.uucgl.org.

Here's how to make it work - click on the right hand side 'Registration Form' navigation bar (You'll find it just beneath Religious Education) It will take you to the form which opens up in Microsoft Word. Fill it out online, save your changes to your own computer and email it to me at rebeccakm@uucgl.org! And check, done! Isn't technology grand?

Thanks for filling those out!

Coming Back

Quote du jour

"Don't keep forever on the public road, going only where others have gone. Leave the beaten track occasionally and dive into the woods. You will be certain to find something you have never seen before" - Alexander Graham Bell

Indeed we are. As each year begins, we have a chance to chart new territory. And this year we will. We will be launching a different way of doing Religious Education at this church. It is my hope, that it will be an opportunity to experience community and 'find something you have never seen before'. I'm don't believe in change for changes' sake, but I certainly believe that complacency leads to apathy and that this sort of intentional programmatic change is an opportunity to become more engaged with our faith and with each other. It's what we're here for.

So now to business: As I wrote in this month's Times there's a gathering of both people and intention around the church these days. Vann has returned from Sabbatical and I from most of my summer adventuring. Angie and Elizabeth are ensconced behind their respective desk tops and the OBNs teachers have been sorting and washing and resettling into the nursery school. And you'll be delighted by the Chapman family's artwork in a couple of the rooms.

I had planned to be at the Republican National Convention (as a Democrat. . .) but as life goes along- family concerns and a long lasting laryngitis derailed many of my late summer plans - I am settled in here for start up at church. Please call me if you have any questions or concerns about the year ahead. Your children. Or Unitarian Universalism!

We are launching our Religious Education year with a teacher orientation for all who will be leading, guiding, or teaching any and all age groups. This takes place on Saturday, September 6th, and if you haven't received a postcard reminder from me - please note that it will be from 9:00 to 11:30 am. Come for coffee, conversation, light breakfast and inspiration! I may even break out the rubber chicken (for those who have not yet encountered an adventure training - rubber chickens are a foundational element)!

If you would like to join us but have not yet RSVP'd please leave a note in the comments so that I can have adequate materials available. You may also respond to my email or office phone - which do not appear here but are available via the church.

What Do We Tell the Children?

What do we tell the children? It’s a question we ask time and time again, whenever tragedy occurs. As of this writing our congregations in Knoxville Tennessee, Tennessee Valley and Westside (of Farragut) each lost members in Sundays’ act of violence. As well as sending our love and prayers to those most closely impacted, we also care for those among us who ask “why?” When young children ask why, what they often are asking is “will it happen to me/us?” What our children need to hear most in any circumstance is that the parents, teachers and other adults in their lives, care for them and that we will do everything in our power to keep them safe.

As a community of faith our first job is to care for the most vulnerable among us, emotionally as well as physically. We should make every effort to shield children from as much graphic news and imagery as we can, but unless your family is in isolation, and your child is never in a position to overhear conversations of others or glimpse a television screen in a restaurant or other public place, or see a photograph on a magazine cover or newspaper rack, they will know ‘something’ bad has happened. Even if they don’t know what that ‘bad something’ is, the simple statement, “I love you and I will do everything I can to see that you are safe and taken care of.” can give them the assurance they need. No other details are necessary unless they ask. I also suggest that we should never underestimate the amount of information children will absorb from what is going on around them. When we acknowledge their questions, we are able to let them know that whatever comes at us in our world – our children are loved and cared for by adults. It is not an empty assurance, and it will go a long way toward building a sense of security and community in every child.

For ourselves, I invite each of us to think prayerfully of the families, members and friends of the Knoxville churches who have suffered so much. I invite each of us to remember that our faith counsels us to stand firm in the face of evil yet never lose our compassion for those who succumb to its allure. I invite each of us to consider ways in which we can create a world where respect becomes mutual, where differences are an expected part of our experience, where the rush to the quick fix and the glorification of violence are no longer acceptable, and where the most marginalized among us are able to seek help and healing.

Focus Factors

Quote du jour

"The work will teach you how to do it" - Estonian proverb

I hope those of you with kids at home had a fabulous school vacation week. Even when I work, school vacation week is a break from carpools, homework angst and the rush to get dinner prepared and served before the next activity. If you were able to have some vacation time of your own with family – so much the better! And if you don’t have kids at home any more, then the abrupt appearance of spring weather and blooms was timed well! There was certainly plenty of good cheer on Sunday. And pollen. (Sniffle, sniffle, Sneeze, sneeze)

This week continues our countdown to Religious Education Sunday. If your group is not interested in a group contribution, please let me know. We have plenty of other roles to fill. Greeters, ushers, readers, etc. There’s room for all sorts of contributions and comfort levels. If I did not stop in and check in with you on Sunday, I will do so sometime this week.

This just in – Francie Fitch and I are going to dive in and offer an intergenerational performance opportunity to members of the UUCGL community. We are inviting any and everyone to sing and act in the musical “Children of Eden”. This is the book of Genesis set to music and it’s great fun as well. My own kids and I were part of an interfaith/intergenerational family theatre that produced this one year. You will enjoy it, as participant or observer. And if you can’t sing or act, there are lots of other ways to be involved. Francie will be putting our a rehearsal schedule soon. The children will be working on their parts during Sunday morning RE time, AFTER this years Religious Education program comes to an end. The show goes up in mid-late June. Stay tuned for more details.

And finally, what do you do when spring fever takes over a group of kids? Or adults for that matter! There are a number of things I do with the space itself. Turn out the lights, light a candle or two, sound a chime. There are other more interactive focusing things to do. Two of my favorites are below.

1. The leader claps their hands once and says quietly “if you can hear me, clap once.” The kids close enough to hear will do so. Immediately repeat the sequence with a double clap. Repeat again with any clap/finger snap number or combination. I usually find after two or three sequences you have the group’s attention again. This works for all ages, except the very young.

2. One Duck! Have the group form a circle and say the sentence One Duck Fell in the Pond – Ker Plunk. Once they have repeated the entire sentence, you go around the circle and each person takes a word in sequence. If you start off “One”, the next person says “Duck”, the next “Fell” and so on. If a word is repeated or lost, you start from the beginning. On the second round, the word is repeated twice by each person. “One, One” “Duck, Duck”, “Fell, Fell” and so on. Start over if words get lost, spoken out of sequence or repeated only once. (Speed it up to make it even more challenging). If you’re really committed go for a three word iteration. This works for most groups, although if you have fewer than 6 people in the room, it’s not very challenging. And the smallest children may not get the concept.

3. If you have a smaller group or an older group, try a Zen Count. Without coordinating, have every one in the room take part in counting to 20. (If that seems like too much of a stretch – start by counting to 10) The rules are simple, everyone must speak before anyone repeats. You cannot go in any order and you cannot say a number at the same time as someone else. If two people start to speak at once, start again from ‘one’. This is particularly useful with a group that is having a hard time paying attention to each other.

Happy focusing!

I’ll see you in church.

How Do You Want to Remember the Year?

Quote du jour

The pursuit of Excellence is gratifying and healthy
The pursuit of perfection is frustrating and neurotic
It is also a terrible waste of time - Edwin Bliss

In a few short weeks the annual RE Sunday will be upon us. During that intergenerational morning, the children and adults in the Religious Education Program are asked to create or contribute to the worship service. I’ve never been here for one of these – but what I’d like to ask you and have you think about on behalf of the group you lead is – “How do I want to remember the year? And what do I want to offer the congregation?” That could be anything (well as long as it’s legal and safe and compatible with our Unitarian Universalist Principles) or nothing at all. A chalice lighting? A song? A prayer? A homily? If you are drawing a blank, give me a call and I’ll be happy to think through the possibilities with you. But please let me know in the next week or so, as we will need to begin planning. You can post in comments, you can send me an email or you can give me a call at the church.

This weekend is the last of this years all program Sundays. Regular classroom teachers have the day free from any leadership role. I will be leading a children’s chapel for all ages, followed by a couple of integrative activities on the theme of Earth Day. If you’re around, please pop in. I seriously thought about devoting a worship service to song parodies, but I’m afraid the younger ones might take me seriously if I start singing “Spirit of Strife”. So Earth Day it is. ..

If you have not yet indicated your teaching commitment for next year, please do so soon. The holy and sacred clipboard and sign up sheet are in the foyer on Sundays with a member of the Religious Education committee to answer your questions.

I wrote in this week's Times about the collective why of teaching, but I also think it’s important to think about the individual why of teaching. We have a shared assumption in many of our churches that Religious Education is only for the young and that once the Affirmation year comes and goes, it’s over. Check. Done. But think on it some more. What about OUR religious education as adults? What about OUR faith development? When I started to feel the twinges and aches of a middle aged back – the medical advice was to ‘strengthen my core’. Building strength in that vital core is what makes us more flexible, resilient and less prone to injury and pain. If we think upon teaching as a way of strengthening our own core – by being present to humans who see the world in very different ways, by stepping outside of our own comfort zones, and by expressing in deed our stated commitment to the wellbeing of our children – it becomes faith development for the teacher as well as the child. You’re not only signing up to teach, you’re signing up for some spiritual, emotional and religious Pilates!

And lastly, in the what’s going on outside department – there are buds on the daffodils in the backyard at my house. And in the warm and sunnier pockets the buds are greening up. Forsythia is blooming and the willows are almost there. After the long winter, I hug these signs of spring closely. What signs of spring are surrounding you? What do you cherish in this season of budding?

In faith,

Rebecca

Pura Vida Mae

Quote of the Day

Pura vida mae!
translation: Pure life dude!
All of the Ticos (Costa Ricans) use it and it pretty much means everything's going good....)


The birds are singing up a storm today, migration season is in full force. And I’ve seen a few timid crocus! Can the sound of lawn mowers be far behind? Last week appeared to go well – I didn’t get to see you all, the older kids and I were in the Affirmation service (which was lovely and true to form, went off beautifully – in spite of the chaos preceding it!)

So how did it go this past Sunday? Need anything? Any big a-hah’s about the morning? Please be in touch and let me know how it’s going for you this spring.

Recently, one of our perennial questions came up about when to intervene with cross talk and livelier verbal types. I have a simple rule. If I can’t hear the person who’s been recognized and invited to speak, then probably no one else can. When the cross talk is gratuitous (I remember one little guy loudly repeating ‘cow, cow’) or if it’s mean spirited, that’s when I intervene. I’m straightforward in giving a clear boundary and my reasons for it. “I can’t hear Jodi speak, so I need you to wait”. Recognize people as being on queue for speaking (over and over again). In Facilitation Land we call that ‘running the stack’. A lot of times, kids jump in because they can’t quite believe someone will let them have their turn. For younger children who need to verbalize during group time, ask them to whisper those things to themselves – as I did with our ‘cow, cow’ guy – he got acknowledged, was not silenced and the group had one less distraction. If the cross talk is of a putting down nature, be clear that in a Unitarian Universalist church we don’t do that. I think put downs and scatological humor are something of a habit with kids. Just hang out near a group of them at school. Or watch the television shows they watch! But, that’s why we have churches and people like you: to help children understand community and positive ways of interaction within it.

Lastly, and I can’t stress this often enough – the key is to begin intervention when you start to see a drift. It’s much easier to redirect the group when the behaviors are emerging. Sometimes, and don’t be afraid to pitch a conversation that seems to be getting nowhere, you need to take an energy break and lead the group in something more physical. (See me for quick and simple ‘games with meaning’ resources)

This is an overview of faciliation tips that I keep handy. It’s a good one to commit to memory and put to practice.

Guidelines for what makes a good facilitator. (Source: unknown)

Frank found four phrases fabulously fit for first-rate facilitating.

FIRM: A good facilitator is firm with time, group cohesion, ground rules, etc.

FAIR to everyone in the group. Doesn't play favorites.

FLEXIBLE: Is aware of the group's needs. Sometimes the planned out agenda needs to be strayed from. A good facilitator recognizes this and is flexible.

FUN: A good facilitator can relate to the participants of the group and doesn't talk down to a group. Humor and jokes are always appreciated.

These four characteristics are contradictory to each other but all essential. The hard part is learning the balance between the four and learning when to be firm, when to be fair, when to be flexible, and when to be fun.

Happy Facilitating and Happy Birdsongs!
Blessings,
Rebecca

March Madness

Quote du jour “Democracy requires space for compromise, and compromise is best won through acknowledging the legitimate concerns of the other.”
- Daniel Yankelovich, Christian Science Monitor, 2004

I’m back to teacher blogging. I am so sorry for my absence of the last couple of weeks, as many of you know, my family has been beset my significant health concerns. Life appears to have calmed down and I’m hoping that we can look forward to less hospital ‘excitement’ in the future months.

As we begin to wind down this church year and look ahead to the next, some significant changes are being made in plans for the Religious Education Program here at UUCGL. The changes have been several years in the making. Surveys, conversations and statistical analysis all led to this iteration of programming. It is our hope that this ministry to our children and families will be one that acknowledges and honors the reality of life in this third millennium. I have copied in a letter which is being distributed throughout the congregation – a letter which specifically addresses the primary years Rotation Workshop. We are also re-visioning Affirmation for ninth graders and a rotation of Neighboring Faiths and Our Whole Lives for seventh and eighth graders, a process you’ll hear more of later. The letter is copied below the body of this blog post - but first, let me update you with a few calendar notes. This coming Sunday, April 6^th is the Affirmation Workshop’s concluding worship service. The four high school youth who have participated this year, will lead the service, sharing their music, thoughts and insights with the congregation. We invite all young people, sixth grade on up to join us in this worship morning. Mark the date, May 4^th, the Frozen Pickles middle school youth group is hosting the annual teacher appreciation lunch after fellowship hour. I hope you’ll join us for a rollicking good time. AND no one has to cook or clean up afterwards!

Dear All,

As you have heard and read elsewhere, the religious education committee is bringing a change to the model we use in our Sunday morning Religious Education program. There are a number of content and logistical changes being made, all of which are designed to minister to the needs and realities of today. One thing remains constant, and that is our commitment to empowering this community in it’s ministry to children and families.

One of the significant changes involves our primary aged children (grades K-6, inclusive). We will be participating in Workshop Rotation. This program uses a core narrative (usually a story) illustrating foundational values of our faith. With our children, we further explore that story and the values embedded within it in the workshops designed to engage children and adults in 4 different experiential and learning modalities visual/tactile arts, music/ drama, social justice and celebrations/worship. Over a four week period, all the children will experience each workshop and revisit the story. This model holds space for all our children to engage our values even with more sporadic attendance, and gives adults a number of ways to access our church’s teaching ministry.

Logistically, as we recognize that extended teaching commitments are more and more difficult for individuals to make we have created a cooperative program schedule. This shares the responsibility of our teaching ministry among all families in an equitable fashion. In short, it is our expectation that all parents will teach and it is our hope that all parishioners will do so as well.

Over the next few weeks, the religious education committee will be inviting you to choose your leadership role and dates you can volunteer. The rotations and leadership roles are as follows: If you are willing and able to provide a consistent and supportive presence to our children, we are asking you to commit to being a teaching guide for one or more four week rotations. In this role you are the able bodied assistant to the workshop leaders and will stay with the same group of children from week to week. If prefer to take the lead, ‘teaching to your passion’, we are asking you to commit to leading at least one four week workshop rotation in your choice of the four experiential areas. The workshop will be developed for you, or if you prefer to design your own workshop, you are welcome to do so. In this role, you will lead the same lesson over the course of four weeks, for the different age cohorts.

Please look over the calendar below and respond to me at any time, or to the Curriculum Committee (Carol Kusinitz, Martha Curry, Mary O’Connel and Lucy Emple) with your prefer4red role and dates before May 1. If you are a parent and have no preference, or we don’t hear from you by May 1, a leadership role and dates will be assigned to you. If you any questions in the meantime, please contact Carol Kusinitz at 781-631-4976 or chkscribe@comcast.net.