Focus Factors

Quote du jour

"The work will teach you how to do it" - Estonian proverb

I hope those of you with kids at home had a fabulous school vacation week. Even when I work, school vacation week is a break from carpools, homework angst and the rush to get dinner prepared and served before the next activity. If you were able to have some vacation time of your own with family – so much the better! And if you don’t have kids at home any more, then the abrupt appearance of spring weather and blooms was timed well! There was certainly plenty of good cheer on Sunday. And pollen. (Sniffle, sniffle, Sneeze, sneeze)

This week continues our countdown to Religious Education Sunday. If your group is not interested in a group contribution, please let me know. We have plenty of other roles to fill. Greeters, ushers, readers, etc. There’s room for all sorts of contributions and comfort levels. If I did not stop in and check in with you on Sunday, I will do so sometime this week.

This just in – Francie Fitch and I are going to dive in and offer an intergenerational performance opportunity to members of the UUCGL community. We are inviting any and everyone to sing and act in the musical “Children of Eden”. This is the book of Genesis set to music and it’s great fun as well. My own kids and I were part of an interfaith/intergenerational family theatre that produced this one year. You will enjoy it, as participant or observer. And if you can’t sing or act, there are lots of other ways to be involved. Francie will be putting our a rehearsal schedule soon. The children will be working on their parts during Sunday morning RE time, AFTER this years Religious Education program comes to an end. The show goes up in mid-late June. Stay tuned for more details.

And finally, what do you do when spring fever takes over a group of kids? Or adults for that matter! There are a number of things I do with the space itself. Turn out the lights, light a candle or two, sound a chime. There are other more interactive focusing things to do. Two of my favorites are below.

1. The leader claps their hands once and says quietly “if you can hear me, clap once.” The kids close enough to hear will do so. Immediately repeat the sequence with a double clap. Repeat again with any clap/finger snap number or combination. I usually find after two or three sequences you have the group’s attention again. This works for all ages, except the very young.

2. One Duck! Have the group form a circle and say the sentence One Duck Fell in the Pond – Ker Plunk. Once they have repeated the entire sentence, you go around the circle and each person takes a word in sequence. If you start off “One”, the next person says “Duck”, the next “Fell” and so on. If a word is repeated or lost, you start from the beginning. On the second round, the word is repeated twice by each person. “One, One” “Duck, Duck”, “Fell, Fell” and so on. Start over if words get lost, spoken out of sequence or repeated only once. (Speed it up to make it even more challenging). If you’re really committed go for a three word iteration. This works for most groups, although if you have fewer than 6 people in the room, it’s not very challenging. And the smallest children may not get the concept.

3. If you have a smaller group or an older group, try a Zen Count. Without coordinating, have every one in the room take part in counting to 20. (If that seems like too much of a stretch – start by counting to 10) The rules are simple, everyone must speak before anyone repeats. You cannot go in any order and you cannot say a number at the same time as someone else. If two people start to speak at once, start again from ‘one’. This is particularly useful with a group that is having a hard time paying attention to each other.

Happy focusing!

I’ll see you in church.

How Do You Want to Remember the Year?

Quote du jour

The pursuit of Excellence is gratifying and healthy
The pursuit of perfection is frustrating and neurotic
It is also a terrible waste of time - Edwin Bliss

In a few short weeks the annual RE Sunday will be upon us. During that intergenerational morning, the children and adults in the Religious Education Program are asked to create or contribute to the worship service. I’ve never been here for one of these – but what I’d like to ask you and have you think about on behalf of the group you lead is – “How do I want to remember the year? And what do I want to offer the congregation?” That could be anything (well as long as it’s legal and safe and compatible with our Unitarian Universalist Principles) or nothing at all. A chalice lighting? A song? A prayer? A homily? If you are drawing a blank, give me a call and I’ll be happy to think through the possibilities with you. But please let me know in the next week or so, as we will need to begin planning. You can post in comments, you can send me an email or you can give me a call at the church.

This weekend is the last of this years all program Sundays. Regular classroom teachers have the day free from any leadership role. I will be leading a children’s chapel for all ages, followed by a couple of integrative activities on the theme of Earth Day. If you’re around, please pop in. I seriously thought about devoting a worship service to song parodies, but I’m afraid the younger ones might take me seriously if I start singing “Spirit of Strife”. So Earth Day it is. ..

If you have not yet indicated your teaching commitment for next year, please do so soon. The holy and sacred clipboard and sign up sheet are in the foyer on Sundays with a member of the Religious Education committee to answer your questions.

I wrote in this week's Times about the collective why of teaching, but I also think it’s important to think about the individual why of teaching. We have a shared assumption in many of our churches that Religious Education is only for the young and that once the Affirmation year comes and goes, it’s over. Check. Done. But think on it some more. What about OUR religious education as adults? What about OUR faith development? When I started to feel the twinges and aches of a middle aged back – the medical advice was to ‘strengthen my core’. Building strength in that vital core is what makes us more flexible, resilient and less prone to injury and pain. If we think upon teaching as a way of strengthening our own core – by being present to humans who see the world in very different ways, by stepping outside of our own comfort zones, and by expressing in deed our stated commitment to the wellbeing of our children – it becomes faith development for the teacher as well as the child. You’re not only signing up to teach, you’re signing up for some spiritual, emotional and religious Pilates!

And lastly, in the what’s going on outside department – there are buds on the daffodils in the backyard at my house. And in the warm and sunnier pockets the buds are greening up. Forsythia is blooming and the willows are almost there. After the long winter, I hug these signs of spring closely. What signs of spring are surrounding you? What do you cherish in this season of budding?

In faith,

Rebecca

Pura Vida Mae

Quote of the Day

Pura vida mae!
translation: Pure life dude!
All of the Ticos (Costa Ricans) use it and it pretty much means everything's going good....)


The birds are singing up a storm today, migration season is in full force. And I’ve seen a few timid crocus! Can the sound of lawn mowers be far behind? Last week appeared to go well – I didn’t get to see you all, the older kids and I were in the Affirmation service (which was lovely and true to form, went off beautifully – in spite of the chaos preceding it!)

So how did it go this past Sunday? Need anything? Any big a-hah’s about the morning? Please be in touch and let me know how it’s going for you this spring.

Recently, one of our perennial questions came up about when to intervene with cross talk and livelier verbal types. I have a simple rule. If I can’t hear the person who’s been recognized and invited to speak, then probably no one else can. When the cross talk is gratuitous (I remember one little guy loudly repeating ‘cow, cow’) or if it’s mean spirited, that’s when I intervene. I’m straightforward in giving a clear boundary and my reasons for it. “I can’t hear Jodi speak, so I need you to wait”. Recognize people as being on queue for speaking (over and over again). In Facilitation Land we call that ‘running the stack’. A lot of times, kids jump in because they can’t quite believe someone will let them have their turn. For younger children who need to verbalize during group time, ask them to whisper those things to themselves – as I did with our ‘cow, cow’ guy – he got acknowledged, was not silenced and the group had one less distraction. If the cross talk is of a putting down nature, be clear that in a Unitarian Universalist church we don’t do that. I think put downs and scatological humor are something of a habit with kids. Just hang out near a group of them at school. Or watch the television shows they watch! But, that’s why we have churches and people like you: to help children understand community and positive ways of interaction within it.

Lastly, and I can’t stress this often enough – the key is to begin intervention when you start to see a drift. It’s much easier to redirect the group when the behaviors are emerging. Sometimes, and don’t be afraid to pitch a conversation that seems to be getting nowhere, you need to take an energy break and lead the group in something more physical. (See me for quick and simple ‘games with meaning’ resources)

This is an overview of faciliation tips that I keep handy. It’s a good one to commit to memory and put to practice.

Guidelines for what makes a good facilitator. (Source: unknown)

Frank found four phrases fabulously fit for first-rate facilitating.

FIRM: A good facilitator is firm with time, group cohesion, ground rules, etc.

FAIR to everyone in the group. Doesn't play favorites.

FLEXIBLE: Is aware of the group's needs. Sometimes the planned out agenda needs to be strayed from. A good facilitator recognizes this and is flexible.

FUN: A good facilitator can relate to the participants of the group and doesn't talk down to a group. Humor and jokes are always appreciated.

These four characteristics are contradictory to each other but all essential. The hard part is learning the balance between the four and learning when to be firm, when to be fair, when to be flexible, and when to be fun.

Happy Facilitating and Happy Birdsongs!
Blessings,
Rebecca