Pura Vida Mae

Quote of the Day

Pura vida mae!
translation: Pure life dude!
All of the Ticos (Costa Ricans) use it and it pretty much means everything's going good....)


The birds are singing up a storm today, migration season is in full force. And I’ve seen a few timid crocus! Can the sound of lawn mowers be far behind? Last week appeared to go well – I didn’t get to see you all, the older kids and I were in the Affirmation service (which was lovely and true to form, went off beautifully – in spite of the chaos preceding it!)

So how did it go this past Sunday? Need anything? Any big a-hah’s about the morning? Please be in touch and let me know how it’s going for you this spring.

Recently, one of our perennial questions came up about when to intervene with cross talk and livelier verbal types. I have a simple rule. If I can’t hear the person who’s been recognized and invited to speak, then probably no one else can. When the cross talk is gratuitous (I remember one little guy loudly repeating ‘cow, cow’) or if it’s mean spirited, that’s when I intervene. I’m straightforward in giving a clear boundary and my reasons for it. “I can’t hear Jodi speak, so I need you to wait”. Recognize people as being on queue for speaking (over and over again). In Facilitation Land we call that ‘running the stack’. A lot of times, kids jump in because they can’t quite believe someone will let them have their turn. For younger children who need to verbalize during group time, ask them to whisper those things to themselves – as I did with our ‘cow, cow’ guy – he got acknowledged, was not silenced and the group had one less distraction. If the cross talk is of a putting down nature, be clear that in a Unitarian Universalist church we don’t do that. I think put downs and scatological humor are something of a habit with kids. Just hang out near a group of them at school. Or watch the television shows they watch! But, that’s why we have churches and people like you: to help children understand community and positive ways of interaction within it.

Lastly, and I can’t stress this often enough – the key is to begin intervention when you start to see a drift. It’s much easier to redirect the group when the behaviors are emerging. Sometimes, and don’t be afraid to pitch a conversation that seems to be getting nowhere, you need to take an energy break and lead the group in something more physical. (See me for quick and simple ‘games with meaning’ resources)

This is an overview of faciliation tips that I keep handy. It’s a good one to commit to memory and put to practice.

Guidelines for what makes a good facilitator. (Source: unknown)

Frank found four phrases fabulously fit for first-rate facilitating.

FIRM: A good facilitator is firm with time, group cohesion, ground rules, etc.

FAIR to everyone in the group. Doesn't play favorites.

FLEXIBLE: Is aware of the group's needs. Sometimes the planned out agenda needs to be strayed from. A good facilitator recognizes this and is flexible.

FUN: A good facilitator can relate to the participants of the group and doesn't talk down to a group. Humor and jokes are always appreciated.

These four characteristics are contradictory to each other but all essential. The hard part is learning the balance between the four and learning when to be firm, when to be fair, when to be flexible, and when to be fun.

Happy Facilitating and Happy Birdsongs!
Blessings,
Rebecca