I Wonder. . .

Quote du jour For man, autumn is a time of harvest, of gathering together. For nature, it is a time of sowing, of scattering abroad. ~Edwin Way Teale


Happy Equinox! If you were outside Sunday evening as the rains came, you could feel summer taking it's leave and autumn rolling in on a wave of chilly Canadian air. Almost overnight the trees around us have started to paint themselves with autumns hues, the birds are flying south and the acorns dropping like mad. And yet humans are pulling back together after our summer travels - to schools, to sports, to book groups and to church. So here we are.

Some of you will have encountered the 'wondering questions' in your curriculum or packets. In the last two paragraphs I'll give some ideas about how to present them and how to use them; in the next ones I'm going to muse a bit on the philosophy of wondering. (Which is code for saying if you don't want to read my musing - and I'll never know so you can't offend me - skip down and pick up some suggestions!)

I was having a conversation with some group leaders last night, and one of them underscored how necessary it is to avoid 'herding' children to conclusions. As a faith tradition of inquiry and reason we don't expect an pre-established theological conclusion and commitment from every adult who comes through these doors - nor should we from our children. As with adults the role of our covenantal faith is to hold space for a diversity of belief and to hold space for questions and for the unknown. Life is a mystery and often the job of religion is to make it less mysterious. As Unitarian Universalists we don't attempt to make life less mysterious as much as we try to make it less lonely. We worship together and we socialize together and we inhabit uncertainty together.

That sounds a little abstract and maybe (to me) just a little too bleak for our younger kids. So rather we 'wonder' together. Those of you leading children in all age groups have opportunties to ask the children and youth what they think, and the way you ask makes an enormous amount of difference to the way the child perceives the question. In the Montessori Godly Play curriculum by Jerome Berryman, the wondering with children closes every narrative. We have adopted a similar wondering opportunity here. Why? Because we bring children and ourselves to church to engage with existential questions. Who am I? What am I here for? What does it all mean? And those simple questions can be far deeper and far more layered than the topical questions on belief or non belief in particular theological constructs. Since we don't have an agreement about the existence of diety, the nature of afterlife, or the origin of the differentiated self, we all wonder. We come up with more questions, discard and test a new set of answers, or inhabit our personal answers with a certainty that does not impose itself on others. We wonder together because we understand that what each of us believes about religious truth and meaning is a part of the whole.

How DO we wonder with children? We present the questions as open - not demanding answers. To do this, I often wonder with a 'far away' look, that the children are invited into wondering. Or you can wonder to your feet as you ask the question and then sweep the room with your gaze to include the children in that wondering. What I suggest you do NOT do is to indicate with eye contact, body language or speech a need for an answer. When you ask a wondering question, ask it as a meditation. Give the words weight, and give the question time and space to sink through the layers of consciousness. Silence gives the introverts time to find the words and the extraverts time to reconsider the first words that come to mind. And wonder does not demand an answer. Sometimes the children will want to speak, sometimes they won't. Both are fine.

If the children respond out loud, let them answer without editorializing on their answers. And if they begin a dialogue with each other around the question, let them. If they ask what you think, tell them, and invite them to ask other adults in their lives. Sometimes children need others assumptions to test their own against. If they sit in silence, let the silence hang for a while. Give them time to ponder the question before asking another. Some questions may never have an answer. That doesn't mean we can't ask and wonder about them.

What questions do you have?

I wonder. ..

see you in church!

Rebecca

The Power of Ritual

Quote du jour: “All of the arts, poetry, music, ritual, the visible arts, the theater, must singly and together create the most comprehensive art of all, a humanized society, and its masterpiece, free man" ~ Bernard Berenson

Many Unitarian Universalists get a little queasy when I bring up the subject of ritual. It is often conflated with superstition or old irrelevant (to some) forms of worship. But ritual has a power and a resonance beyond the intellect. It's why humans are drawn to create ritual in the first place. Ritual is not only found at churches. Candle lighting on a birthday cake is a ritual. A child's first haircut is often a ritual - a rite of passage as it were. Bedtime? Holiday traditions? What conscious or unconscious rituals do you have in your life already? (My family has an annual fruitcake ritual. At some point in late October I make fruitcake and throughout the fall and winter holiday season, the rest of the family mocks me with disparaging comments about fruitcake. It's an annual event, and if it didn't happen the winter holiday season would feel incomplete. )

At church, along with our tradition of inquiry and reason, we have ritual. We have ritual because we want more than an intellectual exercise. We want a community experience - the ritual of coffee hour. Or we want an affective experience of the profound - the ambiance of the worship space, the music, the silence, the prayer. Ritual connects us to each other, and to a time and a place out of ordinary time and place. At church we invite our children to experience that resonance. To experience this place as special. To experience themselves as belonging. Various groups have some rituals in place already. Our Whole Lives begins with a chalice lighting and has the question box to close out the session. Youth Group checks in and checks out. And Sunday morning, the children transition from sanctuary to religious education classrooms with a song. Right now it's "Go Now in Peace" but I have plans. BWAHAHAHA!

I'm sure by now you're wondering where I'm going with this. I do go on, rather. . .

I'm inviting you all, particularly the rotation guides to consider simple rituals for connecting the children you are with to you, to each other and to their church. The guides will all receive a carryall with clipboards/attendances, sticky name tags, a couple of markers and a

port-o-chalice. I encourage you to lay down the pattern of the day - to shape a ritual of connection. Find out who the children are, have them wear name tags that they may be known and seen and connected to the rest of us. Offer a chalice lighting that the group can share - signed, sung, or spoken and consciously end your time together with a benediction or group cheer or by blowing out the chalice together. I have a few examples of chalice lightings and benedictions below, find one you like and use it. Connect our children to this faith we would share with them. It what we're here for.

Chalice Lightings


We light this chalice to celebrate
(mime striking a match on the open palm of the opposite hand)
Unitarian Universalism
(hold up left hand, then right hand in the shape of a U)
This is the church of the flaming chalice.
(cup hands in front)
This is the church of the open mind.
(cover your face with both hands, then open them out on the word “open”
as though your hands were hinged doors)
This is the church of the helping hands.
(hold both hands out in front of you, palms up)
This is the church of the loving heart.
(hands over heart)
Where friends come to share with each other.
(join hands)


Flaming chalice, burning bright,
Now you share with us your light
May we always learn to share
With all people, everywhere.
Flaming chalice, burning bright,
Now you share with us your light

(Sung to the tune of “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)

Eva Ceskava


We light this chalice for the light of truth
We light this chalice for the warmth of love.
We light this chalice for the energy of action.
MaryAnn Moore


We light this chalice to remind ourselves to treat all people
Kindly, because they are our brothers and sisters.
We light this chalice to remind ourselves to take good care
Of the earth, because it is our home.
We light this chalice to remind ourselves to live lives full
Of goodness and love, because that is how we will become
The best men and women we can be.
Source Unknown

May this light kindle within us
The warmth of compassion
The glow of love
The fire of commitment
The light of truth.
Marianne Hachten Cotter

We light our flaming chalice
To illuminate the world we seek.
In the search for truth, may we be just;
In the search for justice, may we be loving;
And, in loving, may we find peace.
Elizabeth McMaster


Benedictions/Extinguishing the Chalice

As we leave this friendly place,
Love give light to every face;
May the kindness which we learn
Light our hearts until we return.
Vincent Silliman

As we extinguish the light of our flaming chalice,
Let us remember how good it is for us to be
Together,
To play together,
To work together,
To sing together,
To laugh together,
May the light of our chalice be with us until we meet again.
Lois Ecklund


Helping hands all gathered round
In our circle peace is found
Open minds and loving hearts
Guide us as we now depart.
Helping hands all gathered round
In our circle peace is found

(Sung to the tune of “ Twinkle Twinkle Little Star”)
Debra Chandler Pratt

Guiding the Elements

quote du jour:

Abundant trust and good humor are signs of spiritual wisdom - Thomas Moore

This Sunday we will begin this year's new Religious Education Program, Workshop Rotation with an orientation for all children in grades K-6th. Next week, Our Whole Lives begins meeting and the week after that, Coming of Age is launched. After we leave the service, we reassemble in Parish Hall. Carol Kusinitz and I will be leading the orientation but any and all of you who will be teaching or who are just curious - come on along.

An interesting role in this new (to UUCGL) model is that of the Guides. A number of you have signed up to 'guide' and I thought I'd write a bit about the 'philosophy' of guiding. You may have heard at volunteer sign up that you won't need to do much. That is both true and not true. You will have no lessons to prepare, no supplies to purchase, no curriculum you MUST read. You will however, be taking on a ministry that asks you to be profoundly present to the children you 'guide'.

Guiding has a physical template. As a guide you will joining a group of children 'sorted' into age cohorts and assigned an element - Air for Kindergartners, Fire for first and second graders, Water for third and fourth graders and Fire for fifth and sixth graders. Each Sunday that you guide, the children will meet you by their elemental - earth, air, fire or water - banner in the Parish Hall. And you will greet them and escort them to their workshop of the day. (This information will be sent to you several weeks before your stint and will posted in the foyer that morning.) Once in the workshop, you may lead them in a chalice lighting or a gathering ritual and then hand over the leading role to the workshop leader. You are still guiding, however, by example or in some cases by gentle direction and redirection.

The religious template of guiding is equally significant. We are creating and holding space for children to encounter the existential questions of life - who am I?, why am I here? what am I meant to do?

Along with that inner work, there is the work of belonging. We should never underestimate the pull of community. Think of all the adults you know who come for the fellowship and the opportunity to be with others. That is also true for children. This is a community wholly like any other they will encounter. It is a place where adults and kids have permission and encouragement to interact in ways that are both casual and profound. It is a place where the example of adults who care for others is one of the first lessons learned. It is a place where the adults teach by example the ways to be with each other. As guides, you are encouraged to teach by example. Encourage the children to treat each other with respect, to treat the space we inhabit with respect and to ask for what they need. If we can anchor those three concepts in each child's mind and practice, we've done a fabulous job.

So let's go to work. There's a big old world that needs these children to grow into thoughtful caring adults! I'll see you in church.

Registration Forms Online!

As the paper moves at ever increasing volume through our lives, I'm making at least one form a little more accessible. Family registration forms for UUCGL 2008-2009 Religious Education programs are available online at the church's website - www.uucgl.org.

Here's how to make it work - click on the right hand side 'Registration Form' navigation bar (You'll find it just beneath Religious Education) It will take you to the form which opens up in Microsoft Word. Fill it out online, save your changes to your own computer and email it to me at rebeccakm@uucgl.org! And check, done! Isn't technology grand?

Thanks for filling those out!