Happy New Year!

Instead of a pithy quote, I offer up this poem for Rosh Hashanah by ---Alicia Ostriker


the birthday of adam

the innocent earthling
and the day hagar and ishmael

found water in the desert
in memory of whom

mud staining our shoes

water flowing in handfuls
we sniff the smell of living dying things
reach into our pockets

for the bread that represents our sins, toss it in, praying . . .
release us, help us,
forgive us

the river answers

by swallowing our crumbs
do our prayers travel upward

do they defy gravity

like rain splashed on the windshield

of a car speeding through storm
in ten days we will go hungrier

pray harder



In a little more than a week, it will be Yom Kippur and the faithful will have a chance to start again. The book of life is opened between New Year (at Rosh Hashanah) and The Day of Atonement (Yom Kippur). And in those intervening ten days one takes advantage of that in between to make amends if possible, ask for forgiveness, bury the hatchet or whatever needs doing to erase the sins of the past year. Some times you can’t do any of those things. Sometimes you can only feel remorse for sins committed and expiation is truly impossible. Ancient wisdom, recognizing that there is only so much good that can come out of perpetual guilt and remorse, built some time limits on it. Up until Yom Kippur people have an opportunity to make things right between them, and on Yom Kippur, a chance to make things right with G*D. Then after the day of prayer and fasting and true remorse, what is done is done, and it’s time to move on.

As the High Holy days of the Jewish faith inform our pluralistic religion of Unitarian Universalism, I am reminded of and grateful for the promise that we can let go and begin again. That is true on the micro as well as the macro scale.

Because so many of us reading this (and the writer too) work with the young, we are particularly challenged to let go and to let a child begin again. I speak from experience. We’ve all that kid – the one who can’t sit still, or bonks their neighbor on a regular basis, or talks back, or ignores you, or sticks the pipe cleaners up their nose or any other set of annoying or disruptive behaviors.

And sometimes, in spite of our best intentions, that kid gets under our skin and their bad behavior becomes a personal affront.

What to do when that happens? My advice (which I take early and often) is to chant over and over. They’re kids – if they were fully socialized they wouldn’t need teachers or parents or CHURCHES. They come to us along a whole continuum of understanding and capacity for appropriate social behaviors. I have four ‘categories’. (Even though I say I transcend labels – here I go, labeling)

Some kids have mature understanding and capacity.

Some kids have very clear understanding and limited capacity.

Some kids have limited understanding and greater capacity.

Some kids have limited understanding AND capacity.

The first group is easy. We like them. They listen, follow instructions, cooperate with peers and generally are a joy to be around.

The second group usually improve over time. If a child understands, then it’s often just a matter of coaching them in paying attention or responding to others. Sometimes it’s a special needs consideration. A lot of children with attentional issues really WANT to be attentive. They just can’t. We owe their better natures an opportunity to shine and a structure in which they can succeed.

The third group is the group that needs frequent reminders and appeal to their reasoning powers. They have the skills to work well in groups, they just don’t ‘get’ the why. As with the second group – it usually gets better over time.

The fourth group is a small percentage of our population, and yet, sadly, they often become the kids we give up on. Or the kids who go on to live out self-fulfilling prophecies. As a faith committed to the inherent worth and dignity of everyone, we owe those kids a fight – a fight for their whole and best selves. How we do that may be beyond the logistical reach of a Sunday morning program, but it is not beyond the reach of our collective wisdom and our open hearts.

If you’ve got that kid in your group, let’s talk about it. Let’s find a way to embrace the spirit of each child. Let’s find a way to start again and again. Let’s find a way to let a child have a fresh page and the opportunity to write a new story on it.

See you in church

Rebecca