quote du jour and a bonus
"Nature has no mercy at all. Nature says, "I'm going to snow. If you have on a bikini and no snowshoes, that's tough. I am going to snow anyway." ~ Maya Angelou
“A lot of people like snow. I find it to be an unnecessary freezing of water.” ~ Carl Reiner
I include the above quotes in honor of the quick shift to cold winter like weather. I like snow. I just don't like driving in it. Shoveling it. Or wading through it. If I can ski over it or stay inside until spring, then that works.
This weekend we will all be together (except for the very youngest) in an intergenerational worship service for the season of Thanksgiving. Please remember to fill a grocery bag with nonperishable items for the ministry of My Brother's Table in Lynn. We will be collecting contributions during the service.
As most of you know, I roam the RE classrooms on Sunday mornings and get to see a whole variety of ways adults and children engage each other. I learn a lot. It's one of the many things I love about Sunday mornings at church. This past Sunday I was speaking with a teaching team as they were reflecting on feedback they had received from their group of teenagers. What the group found remarkable, was the leaders ability to listen to the group, to not drive them to a conclusion and to hold open plenty of space for conversation between group members but not to put any one individual on the spot.
We have a lot of written materials for every age group in the church and I sometimes fear that they give RE teachers the message that you must cram a lot of didactic information into the minds of our children in an hour for approximately 28 Sundays a year. In case you wondered - not so. The material is for you to use with the group in ways that make the most sense to everyone - adults and kids - who is engaging in it. One of the ways that appear to make sense to kids is to learn, model and practice listening within the RE classroom.
How do we do that?I think about my children as toddlers. When they wanted to tell me something they took my face in the hands and made sure I was paying attention. There are many non-dialogue ways to encourage listening - rhythm, dramatic arts, poetry, music making - which I'll get to in subsequent posts. For now a couple of tips on how you and your group can listen to each other and to listen for the things that matter in our lives.
ATTENTION: Its hard to listen when multiple off topic conversations are going on. Ring a bell, turn off the lights, relight the chalice or blow it out as a group. One of my personal favorites is to have everyone close their eyes and listen to a chime fade into silence. Ask them to raise hands when the sound of the chime disappears. Do this three times and you've provided a meditation break. I have given examples of focusing games before, Zen count or One Duck - use one of these. Don't be afraid to insert them - even if it seems like a non-sequiteur- what ever you happen to be doing if you believe listening has disappeared.
QUESTIONS: Give the conversation a skeleton to fill in around. Ask questions. With younger children, show them an object or picture related to the materials you have. Ask them to give opinions about it. With older kids an open ended question feels less like a quizz. What do you think? Can you imagine. . . ? Has that ever happened to you? Or someone you know? My favorite question (from the above mentioned teaching team) What would you do differently?
SPACE: Most UU's are talkers. Big talkers. Some of our kids are too. The extroverts will jump in and answer and by the time the introverts have organized their thoughts, the rest of the group is on to something else. Have the group jot down notes for a minute or two before opening up verbal dialogue. It gives everyone a chance to sort out their thoughts. With younger kids, have them draw a response. Notice the kids who aren't talking and make sure they have opportunities to speak. Allow for silence if people are pondering. It doesn't have to be awkward to think together.
SAFETY: Make it safe to risk an opinion. That means dialogue not debate. Encourage questions of each other - as in "Why do you believe/think/feel that?" NOT as in "How could you be so dumb?" If your group has a covenant remind them of it. If not, have them come up with ground rules. Usually, but not always, it's the younger kids who need reminders not to interrupt or put down an opinion. Invite participation but don't force it by asking one kid 'what do YOU think?' if they haven't volunteered.
ENERGY: And this last is most important. If the group is restless and high energy, you may need to do something else. Don't give up on your listening plans, just defer them until the group is ready to sit with each other in quieter conversation. Play seven principle charades, or another lively communication game. Do something that doesn't involve conversation, or conversely ask everyone in the room to talk loudly all at once for 5 minutes. Time it and make them talk nonstop for the ENTIRE five minutes. Try it. And then find out what the group thought of THAT.
This weekend we will all be together (except for the very youngest) in an intergenerational worship service for the season of Thanksgiving. Please remember to fill a grocery bag with nonperishable items for the ministry of My Brother's Table in Lynn. We will be collecting contributions during the service.
As most of you know, I roam the RE classrooms on Sunday mornings and get to see a whole variety of ways adults and children engage each other. I learn a lot. It's one of the many things I love about Sunday mornings at church. This past Sunday I was speaking with a teaching team as they were reflecting on feedback they had received from their group of teenagers. What the group found remarkable, was the leaders ability to listen to the group, to not drive them to a conclusion and to hold open plenty of space for conversation between group members but not to put any one individual on the spot.
We have a lot of written materials for every age group in the church and I sometimes fear that they give RE teachers the message that you must cram a lot of didactic information into the minds of our children in an hour for approximately 28 Sundays a year. In case you wondered - not so. The material is for you to use with the group in ways that make the most sense to everyone - adults and kids - who is engaging in it. One of the ways that appear to make sense to kids is to learn, model and practice listening within the RE classroom.
How do we do that?I think about my children as toddlers. When they wanted to tell me something they took my face in the hands and made sure I was paying attention. There are many non-dialogue ways to encourage listening - rhythm, dramatic arts, poetry, music making - which I'll get to in subsequent posts. For now a couple of tips on how you and your group can listen to each other and to listen for the things that matter in our lives.
ATTENTION: Its hard to listen when multiple off topic conversations are going on. Ring a bell, turn off the lights, relight the chalice or blow it out as a group. One of my personal favorites is to have everyone close their eyes and listen to a chime fade into silence. Ask them to raise hands when the sound of the chime disappears. Do this three times and you've provided a meditation break. I have given examples of focusing games before, Zen count or One Duck - use one of these. Don't be afraid to insert them - even if it seems like a non-sequiteur- what ever you happen to be doing if you believe listening has disappeared.
QUESTIONS: Give the conversation a skeleton to fill in around. Ask questions. With younger children, show them an object or picture related to the materials you have. Ask them to give opinions about it. With older kids an open ended question feels less like a quizz. What do you think? Can you imagine. . . ? Has that ever happened to you? Or someone you know? My favorite question (from the above mentioned teaching team) What would you do differently?
SPACE: Most UU's are talkers. Big talkers. Some of our kids are too. The extroverts will jump in and answer and by the time the introverts have organized their thoughts, the rest of the group is on to something else. Have the group jot down notes for a minute or two before opening up verbal dialogue. It gives everyone a chance to sort out their thoughts. With younger kids, have them draw a response. Notice the kids who aren't talking and make sure they have opportunities to speak. Allow for silence if people are pondering. It doesn't have to be awkward to think together.
SAFETY: Make it safe to risk an opinion. That means dialogue not debate. Encourage questions of each other - as in "Why do you believe/think/feel that?" NOT as in "How could you be so dumb?" If your group has a covenant remind them of it. If not, have them come up with ground rules. Usually, but not always, it's the younger kids who need reminders not to interrupt or put down an opinion. Invite participation but don't force it by asking one kid 'what do YOU think?' if they haven't volunteered.
ENERGY: And this last is most important. If the group is restless and high energy, you may need to do something else. Don't give up on your listening plans, just defer them until the group is ready to sit with each other in quieter conversation. Play seven principle charades, or another lively communication game. Do something that doesn't involve conversation, or conversely ask everyone in the room to talk loudly all at once for 5 minutes. Time it and make them talk nonstop for the ENTIRE five minutes. Try it. And then find out what the group thought of THAT.
I am an evil genius.
see you in church
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