Wednesday, March 11, 2009

What should we do on Sunday morning?

Quote du jour: Thought flows in terms of stories - stories about events, stories about people, and stories about intentions and achievements. The best teachers are the best story tellers. We learn in the form of stories. ~ Frank Smith

The curriculum committee and I are busy working on the selection of core narratives (stories - but core narratives sounds so much more 'official') for next year's primary grades Rotation Workshop. We have developed a sequence and scope for the year, and on the surface it looks like a framework much as we have in secular education. But it's not. The questions we ask as we develop program content and lesson sets are as church centered as the answers to them.

What do we need from our church? What do we wish to have for our children? In answering those questions, I developed three core assumptions about the content of Sunday morning programs. First and foremost we must create community. And for the kids, that's not a one shot deal, but a weekly practice. Every time a group gathers, with even one new face, or one missing face – it's a new community to be built in that day! As adult leaders, we should consider ourselves leaders and guides, as we help children find ways to form relationships, see and be seen, develop awareness of the social contract and practice being with each other in whole and supportive ways.

Secondly, we learn to live as Unitarian Universalists. We don't have enough time with our children on Sunday morning to create religious scholars. What we do have time for is to recognize and guide people who can practice inclusion, accountability, compassion and a healthy curiosity about their world.

And thirdly, we must offer ways to make meaning. Few of us can find meaning in the pages of a book until we have the life experiences that make those pages relevant. We can create those life experiences with worship, with story, with service to others, and with encounters with the mystery (that some people call god and others understand differently). For our children, although I think it vital to include the religious questions of the faiths and the world they encounter every day, it is equally vital to help children become aware of their ability to ask their own questions, in ways that are responsive, not reactive. Notice I say very little about 'curriculum'. The curriculum we use is a tool, something to mine for wisdom, refer to for integrative and group activities, a structure for your morning, AND it is no wiser than your own good instincts about what it means for a child to be religious. What you can give a child - matters.

In just about every teaching workshop or orientation I've led, I've told the following story. Years ago I walked into a Sunday morning religious education room. The leader was valiantly struggling through a lesson on the 'inherent worth and dignity of each individual' while two kids were escalating a war of words into physical violence and the rest of the group sat uncomfortably observing this interaction. The leader told me later, that she 'had' to get through the lesson. As gently as I could, I asked, "and in that room, with two children practicing violence on each other and the other children silenced. ..what do you think the lesson was?"



Thursday, March 5, 2009

What's it for?

Quote du jour: We hurry through our meals to go to work and hurry through our work in order to "recreate" ourselves in the evenings and on weekends and vacations and then we hurry, with greatest possible speed and noise and violence, through our recreation--for what?
�Wendell Berry
I was speaking with a colleague about loss. The big losses of siblings and parents as we who are lucky enough to have them at middle age begin to experience. It certainly puts the question asked by Wendell Berry in perspective. What is it for? If I were to ask this question of myself every time I took on a new project or commitment - and re-read the quote as I did so - what would my answers be?

I have noticed that in the past few years, much of my personal life has been about divesting. (Although I did acquire a new spouse last summer) Launching the kids, readying the house for downsizing, letting go of old dreams and hopes that no longer fit. Work is taking on that frame as well. As the church grapples with the realities of the economic downturn and the consequences to the endowment income, we are earnestly asking the question - what's it for?

But church isn't the only place where one might reflect on our relationship with time, money and effort. Years ago, I wrote a sociology paper on the Black Friday phenomena. To do so, I rose early and went off to Walmart where I observed and interviewed a number of shoppers. At one point, I saw a sleepy, overheated, cranky pre-schooler being roundly scolded by their parent. "If you don't stop crying, Santa isn't going to come to our house. Santa won't bring you anything at all." As you might guess, those threats had the effect of magnifying the waterworks. What was THAT for? Bringing joy into a child's life? Christmas spirit? Not so much. But church isn't the only place where one might reflect on our relationship with time, money and effort. And yet, the parent involved started with the best of motives - to manifest love - which ended up corrupted by the cultural messages about money, consumption and tangibles. What's it for?

My mood has always been an indicator of balance or lack there of in my life. If I'm so stressed that I snap at my family or am rude to perfect strangers on the phone, then something is seriously out of whack.

It seems like the whole world is talking about how to reconcile reality with wish. Each of us will have a different answer to that question and each family has it's own values around time, energy and money. I'm not going to tell you how to use those things, but rather invite you to consider your values first and let the richness of possibilities become apparent.

(and here are some links that may be of use in that process)



Unitarian Universalists for a Just Economic Community. http://www.uujec.org
Seventh Principle Project. http://www.uuaspp.org
Kids' Money. http://pages.prodigy.com/kidsmoney/index.htm
National Center for Financial Education, Children and Money. http://www.ncfe.org/index.htm
Take Back Your Time. http://www.simpleliving.net/timeday/
The Simple Living Network. http://www.simpleliving.net/
The Simplicity Forum. http://www.simpleliving.net/simplicityforum/default.asp
Free Our Time. http://www.shalomctr.org/freeourtime/
Time for a Four Hour Day. http://www.iww.org/projects/4-Hours/
Work to Live. http://www.worktolive.info/